Finding yourself will probably be one of the hardest things you will do in your life. Most people go through so many changes as they get older and feel like they don’t know who they are anymore. 

This is most common in middle-aged women after a significant event such as a divorce or children moving out of the house. They feel lost, lonely and unsure what to do with themselves. They don’t know who they are anymore or what makes them happy and this questioning of life can trigger a lot of negative thoughts. 

These changes can often lead to strange behaviour and a ‘mid-life crisis’. 

Trying to find yourself at a later stage in your life can be very freeing. You can discover so many things that you never knew existed and bring a lot of youth into your life. 

However, a lot of younger people have the need to find themselves early on in their lives so that they feel fulfilled, successful and ready to take on the world. 

I know that I felt this way when I was eighteen and moving to university. 

I wanted to start a new life with all the freedom I was being offered. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be but I knew I would discover it. 

So here are a few things I researched to help me along my journey of finding myself. 

 

 

Change Where You Live

Moving to a new place symbolises new beginnings and starting over. Having a fresh home environment can stimulate a lot of ideas and changes. 

You could move to a completely new town or city or change the type of place you live in. For example, if all you’ve known is a busy lively city, have a look at some properties out in the country or the suburbs. It might spark some motivation or revelations that you’ve never experienced before because you’ve been confined to one environment. 

If you’re moving out of your parents house or getting a place to yourself, it can feel very freeing and like you can do anything. You have your own freedom to decorate how you like, to go out and buy new furniture and decor. 

If you already have a place of your own, consider completely redecorating a room with something a little different. Try out a new pattern or bold colour you’ve been scared of before. Upgrade that instant coffee to a big brand coffee machine to start your mornings right or build that home bar you’ve always dreamt of. You won’t know if you like it ‘til you try it!

 

Spend Some Time Alone

A lot of us feel a little awkward going out and doing things on our own. I know that as I got older, I didn’t want to go shopping alone or sit in a coffee shop reading a book by myself. 

But those things were how I became more comfortable with who I was. 

I didn’t need to surround myself with other people to leave the house and go out. I actually discovered that I liked myself a lot more by being out by myself. Shopping became a lot more efficient and I could work on my own timeline. 

I’m not telling you to isolate yourself or turn down catch-ups with friends because you need to find yourself by being on your own. No, I’m saying that you shouldn’t minimise the things you want to go and do just because somebody won’t go with you. 

That concert you want to go to that nobody else does because they don’t like the band? Oh well, go and enjoy yourself! The restaurant you haven’t been to yet and really want to try? Don’t wait until your friends can organise when to get together. Go and eat!

People may look at you a little weird but shake it off and know that you’re enjoying yourself. More often than not, people who look at you in these situations actually are just wishing they had the confidence to do those things by themselves too. 

Don’t restrict your happiness because you’re afraid of doing something alone. 

 

Read More

Reading has been a big hobby of mine throughout my whole life. My studies revolved around it and my career depends on it!

However a lot of people take reading for granted and underestimate how educational and life changing it can be. 

I’m not only talking about self help books to improve your life. 

Reading fiction and autobiographies can help you to understand many different ways of life and help you to see inside somebody else’s mind. 

Reading travel guides or cookbooks can encourage you to try new things and branch out further than your usual recipes or holiday home in spain. 

History books can teach you so much about the world that existed before you. Learning about history can inspire you to make changes in your life to things that you take for granted. Educating yourself on the suffragette movement can encourage you to vote or spend more time learning about politics. Black history, equal rights and slavery may make you feel more grateful for your life and inspire more changes to be made to make the future better. 

Pop into your local library or bookstore and have a flick through the books that grab your attention. Pick up a couple of books that you wouldn’t normally choose and see if you end up liking them!

 

Learn About Different Cultures and Religions

Reading can help you to find many new aspects of the world that you didn’t know much about. 

The best way to learn is to experience. And to help you on your journey to finding yourself, you must try to experience as many things as possible. 

In my opinion, the best things you can possibly experience and learn about are different cultures. 

Most of us don’t really move away from home or travel to places where the world is completely obscure to us. 

But by seeing how different cultures function and how they view the world can be really eye opening and often inspire us to do the same. 

The same goes with religion. In the UK, the majority of the population would identify as Christian. We are taught mostly Christianity at school and are encouraged to go to church. 

There aren’t many opportunities for us to explore other religions and beliefs unless we seek it ourselves. 

Educating yourself on many ways of life can help us to figure out what we want to believe and the kind of environment that speaks to our inner selves. It’s never too late to connect.

 

Travel

Seeing the world is on most people’s to-do list and there’s no question why. 

Travelling can be a great way of finding yourself as you are exposed to so many different things, such as religions and cultures like I mentioned before, but also animals we don’t usually see, opportunities we don’t always get and views we don’t have at home. 

All of these things can be inspiring and affect us all in individual ways. 

Every time I travel, I like to try to take in as much as I can, learn all about the place’s heritage and stories that it holds. These usually spark ideas for creativity in my own stories or art. 

I’ve heard of so many people who have used travelling to get them through a tough point in their life, whether it’s to write a book or get over heartbreak. And always succeed. 

 

 

Try Something You’ve Never Done Before

Think. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t? Is it to quit your job and start your own business? Do a skydive? Buy a holiday home? 

Whatever it is, make a plan and go and do it. 

The worst thing you can do is to live with regrets. If it’s something that you can still do, no matter how much time has passed, you must try it before you can’t.

You might discover a feeling that you haven’t felt before or realise you aren’t living life to the fullest. 

Trying something new should bring you some sort of epiphany, even if you end up hating whatever it is. 

 

Try New Food

It sounds so ridiculous that you’ll find who you are by trying new food. But it’s really true. 

When you’re next wandering around the supermarket, have a stroll down an aisle you don’t normally go down. Grab a few different things to try, even if you don’t really know what they are. 

Go home and do some research for recipes so you can include them in your next meal. 

You might want to make some changes for your own health or medical reasons and you need to figure out how to interact differently with food. 

The key is to try new things and try them in a variety of ways. 

Consider doing a vegan or vegetarian week if you eat a lot of meat and explore some new fruit and veg you can use in your cooking. Bulking up your meals with a lot of nutritional veg saves you a lot of money and provides a healthier meal. 

Experiment with new spices and cuisines you didn’t take much notice of before. Indian cuisine is amazing for trying new flavours and learning how to balance the spices. 

You could even try a cooking class to learn some professional techniques and you may find you start falling in love with food and become much more passionate about what you are putting into your body.  

 

Try New Hobbies

Quite often when we’re unsure of who we are, it’s because we’re not spending enough time doing the things we love. 

Sometimes, we don’t have a lot of time for hobbies but they’re an essential in our self care routines. 

Finding a new hobby can be a really great way of turning around your life. A lot of people use crafts and other creative work as a stress release and exercise to make them feel full of energy. 

Finding a new hobby can help in finding yourself as it can help you to discover new found love for something in the world. 

 

Try a New Look

This is probably one of the most common things that people do to change something in their life because it’s so easy and quick to do. 

Despite the price of getting a new hairstyle and buying a new wardrobe full of clothes, it quite often does a great job of making us feel a little bit different in ourselves. 

The power of changing your appearance is so underestimated. When I know I look good, it gives me a confidence boost and I feel like I can go and accomplish anything. 

You might realise that a haircut you were doubting would suit you actually receives a lot of compliments from people and makes it easier for you to do your hair in the morning. 

You might discover a style of clothing that fits your frame really well or a colour that compliments your skin. 

Honestly, try it and you’ll be on your way to finding yourself.

 

Be More Confident

I know. I know. Easier said than done, right?

A lot of us who have suffered with anxiety or have been shut down by people their whole lives or generally have low self esteem, don’t really know what confidence is. 

You don’t wake up one day and decide you’re going to be confident. It’s a process that you engage in gradually and a feeling you provide yourself with. 

There are many ways you can build your confidence. One technique that I use is reciting affirmations and mantras. Not only am I then creating a platform to manifest my desires but I’m also telling myself the things I need to hear to feel better about myself. 

Everyday, I wake up and tell myself it’s going to be a great day, even if it turns out not to be. But I’ve put that out into the world and told myself that’s it’s going to be. 

Before I open up my laptop to start working on Minds of Jupiter, I tell myself that I’m motivated and I’m capable of creating something amazing. It brings positivity into my life and belief in myself. 

Another thing I like to do is journal. And I say this all of the time. There are so many benefits of journaling and one of them is building confidence. You reflect on your day/week and look at all of the positives and let go of the negatives. 

While you’re doing this, you’re writing down all of the great things you’ve accomplished and can physically see all the things you’ve done! If that isn’t a confidence booster!

Find your way of building up your confidence and then use it to go out and do all of the things I’ve mentioned above! Because without a bit of confidence, you won’t be able to carry out all of the above tips for finding yourself.

 

Some of these tips may jump out at you and some won’t. However, a lot of the time we need someone to give us that little nudge to make the changes we need in our lives. 

If you’re not happy with who you are or feeling lost about who you’re supposed to be, pick a handful of these tips and see who you become.