What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself that are in no way helping you to succeed. They are things you believe about yourself and your abilities that can stop or limit the amount of faith you have in yourself to be able to achieve your desires. 

Limiting beliefs are statements that we genuinely believe are true and so affect the way we behave, the way our mind works and, a lot of the time, our relationships with other people. 

A significant amount of self doubt and negative beliefs can end up putting our wellbeing at risk and hold you back from doing or being something amazing. 

They are boundaries and barriers that your subconscious has created – sometimes without even realising it – that we use to make a decision or behave a certain way.

Whether we realise it or not, we all carry around our own versions of limiting beliefs that sit in our brains and choose their moments to pounce and interfere with our lives.

 

An example of a common limiting belief is “I can’t be myself because I won’t be accepted”. This is a belief that we may have taken on by having seen people being treated badly because of who they are and there’s a fear of being rejected, just like them.  

It sounds obvious but when you say ‘I can’t’, you are telling yourself that you are incapable of completing that task and it will never be possible. 

Now think about what that tells you. Your thoughts are stopping you from attempting whatever it is that you want to do. And without giving something a try, how do you know if it’s ever going to be possible?

Another common limiting belief is “I’m not good enough”. This belief could be a result of years of bullying, rejection or failure and can be one of the most dangerous beliefs we can have. 

If we don’t think we are enough, it can affect our self esteem and self worth which can lead to more serious issues. 

 

It’s still possible to be successful while having limiting beliefs, despite the negativity and doubt they can cause. This is why it’s so important to learn how to identify them, manage them and prevent them from taking over so that you can be as successful as you can be. 

 

Why Do We Have Limiting Beliefs?

Experience

In the same way as we learn that we’ll get burned if we touch something hot, we learn how people will react to our actions and the outcomes of our decisions. 

These experiences allow us to come to our own conclusions of how we should think and behave. And sometimes this means we end up suppressing parts of ourselves or think a certain way about things. This will turn into what we can identify as a limiting belief. 

We think we won’t be able to achieve something because previously you’ve failed at something similar. 

 

Education

We are often brought up doubting ourselves as we are conditioned from the day we are born. We are influenced by everything around us as we grow and learn how to behave in our communities. 

Just as we are taught to be scared of spiders because we learned our parents are, we may learn to stop trying so hard to be successful because of how the people around us have tried and failed. 

This can lead to us taking on the same belief that we are not capable because of how similar we are to them. 

An example for this would be, “I will never get out of this small town because my mum tried and had to move back too.” And so you have learned through your mum’s experience that you can’t move either.

 

Fear

Limiting beliefs are mostly driven by fear and doubt, so much so that that initial sense of fear that humans used as a way to survive in past lives, have intruded into other aspects of our modern lives. The thought of criticism, rejection, hurt or failure is enough to hinder us instead of taking the risk for reward. 

We are wired to desire comfort and safety, so why would we risk that when there’s a chance of failure and discomfort? 

Well, because a lot of us have the drive for more – to do more, be more and achieve more – than the steady and stable lives we have built. 

And unfortunately, a lot of us are held back by our limiting beliefs. 

Despite the need for more, how many times have you chosen not to take a chance on something because the idea of the possible risks have got in the way?

We’re taught to weigh up our options and think which is the best way to act in terms of the best outcome. Sometimes this can mean we end up choosing the ‘safest’ option as the risks are simply too worrying and then we proceed through life, plodding along, doing what is necessary to survive.

When we do choose to take a risk and we’re returned with failure, we can associate the two together and this can unfortunately make us believe that we should continue with the safe options in order to protect ourselves from the consequences of failure.

Our future decisions are then made with fear in mind, wondering ‘what if this happens?’ and then believing it will if you take that chance. 

Think about an unlikely couple that have made a life together despite past heartbreak. They could have been easily influenced by their previous bad experiences in relationships and thought they’ll never be able to be happy with someone else. If they never took a chance and fought through the fear of their limiting beliefs, they would never be happy!

 

Excuses 

Many people don’t like to admit that they’re at fault for causing their own failure. Instead, they look to anything to blame so that they don’t have to take responsibility for the downfalls that they’ve experienced. 

Blaming anything other than yourself for your own failure completely removes the power for you to change it. 

If you tell yourself that you won’t get a promotion because your company doesn’t see your hard work or they’re not looking to promote anyone then you’re blaming something else. You then may not put yourself forward for the job or say ‘I told you so’ when they offer it to someone else. 

When really, if you’d gone into the interview with more confidence, thinking and believing that you can do it, then you may have actually been offered the job!

When you make excuses, you’re telling yourself that you’re not in control of the outcome and you’re wasting your time working towards your goal because there are things preventing you from getting there, when really it’s only you and your thoughts that are doing that. 

 

How Do Our Limiting Beliefs Affect Us

First of all, not everything you tell yourself you can’t do is a limiting belief. 

For example, when I tell myself I can’t sprout my own wings and fly to Canada, that isn’t a limiting belief. That’s just the unfortunate truth. 

Limiting beliefs are more the things that you’re telling yourself that you’re not capable of that you actually can be capable of. 

There’s a big difference between telling yourself you can’t grow your own wings and doubting your ability to be promoted. 

Limiting beliefs can cause great unhappiness in people who are missing out on amazing opportunities to build on themselves and their lives. They can be as small as believing you’ll never be able to cook a roast dinner as well as your mum or as big as believing you’re not meant to achieve your highest desires.

All of our actions and decisions have been made from our beliefs and intentions, whether they’ve been good or bad. Like I mentioned, the scary thing about them is that we mostly don’t realise how restrictive they are or can be. 

In fact, most of the time we’re turning down amazing opportunities that could change the course of our lives because of how deeply the limiting beliefs are embedded within us.

Every second that you have put off starting your own business because you’ve worried too much about what people will think or the chances of failing, is time that you’re letting your limiting beliefs take charge. 

Figuring out what you may be missing out on because of your limiting beliefs can be more than enough for you to start taking some action. 

In the next section you’ll be guided to identify your limiting beliefs and what they could’ve been holding you back from.

 

How To Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs and thoughts are not the same thing. Your thoughts are active presentations in your conscious mind. You have the ability to control them – to an extent – as they come from your beliefs. 

Your beliefs are deep rooted and have been developed by all of the reasons mentioned above. Though they sit further down in your subconscious, they can still be identified and altered so that your thoughts can act more positively. 

Beliefs are what you have learned to be true which is why they can be so hard to change. You wouldn’t want to put your faith into something you didn’t believe to be right, would you?

A lot of harm has been brought to the world because of some people’s extreme beliefs but some have brought huge positive changes too. 

Our beliefs can be life-altering so it is essential that they are guiding us along the right path. 

The limiting beliefs that we have are only preventing us from becoming a better version of ourselves so it’s important that we know how to identify them so that we can rid them from our lives.

 

Set some time aside to really think about what limiting beliefs may be hiding deep down somewhere within you. 

These may be hard to identify at first as we are not always aware of what they are and that they are holding us back. Sometimes we may even think that they are protecting us. 

If you can’t think of any immediately, don’t believe that they don’t exist within you because more often than not, we aren’t aware of the limiting beliefs that we hold. 

By dismissing them, we are restricting our own growth and improvement. Let them be opportunities for you to change yourself for the better and open the doors that your limiting beliefs have kept locked.. 

 

Limiting beliefs can be identifiable by analysing our insecurities, our response from trauma and our upbringings. 

If we had a troublesome childhood, we may take that into our adult lives and believe we aren’t worthy of having a strong family of our own. Through the psychological effects of our childhood, we may unwillingly and unknowingly sabotage our own relationships with our family because of the beliefs we have about family dynamics. 

The truth is, we can manage these thoughts to change the outcome of our behaviour and mindset. But not without knowing what thoughts are holding us back.

Identifying and understanding the effects that limiting beliefs can hold is the ticket to ensuring you can eliminate and manage them in the future.

 

In my opinion, the best way to identify your limiting beliefs is to write them down when you come across them or include them in part of your daily reflection. Try to acknowledge them when you realise what they’re doing, how they’re interfering and affecting your decision making.

If you think you’ll find it hard to keep track like this, then take some time right now to answer these questions:

 

Think about a time you didn’t achieve your goal or didn’t give something a try.

What physical things stopped you from doing it?

What thoughts stopped you from accomplishing it?

What could you have achieved and what life could you have lived if you’d succeeded? Why did this not happen?

 

Think about something you want to do in the near future. 

What beliefs are stopping you from doing it now?

Do you think, when you get to it, that you’ll be confident in doing it?

 

Think about something you’re working towards right now. 

Are there thoughts that are slowing you down?

Were there times that you doubted yourself or your ability along the way?

Is there more you want to do but are holding back?

Think about the way you feel about yourself right now.

What negative thoughts go through your head?

How many of those do you really believe to be true?

 

How Do You Eliminate Limiting Beliefs?

Tackling your own thoughts and beliefs about yourself is one of the most empowering things that you can do. It can bring confidence, reassurance and motivation to continue life without restricting opportunities. 

To eliminate our limiting beliefs, we must change our response to them. When your mind is telling you that you “don’t have any creative skills” so your dream to write a book will never happen, the typical response will be to not give it a go or to lose motivation halfway through, because your beliefs are telling you that you aren’t capable of doing it. Your limiting beliefs will reduce confidence, restrict motivation and lower performance. 

Instead, we must respond in a way that alters our mindset so that instead of believing those restrictive thoughts, we challenge them, show them that they’re untrue and believe the alternative.

 

Prove Them Wrong

Write down every statement that you think about yourself from the questions above on the left side of a page. 

Once you’ve done that, go back through them and write a time that contradicts it on the right side. Prove that belief wrong! 

For example, one of your negative thoughts may be, “I’m not very smart” so you write it on the left. Now think about a time when you felt smart and write it on the right: “I finished my degree in business management.”

That second statement is something you’ve achieved and should be proud of that proves that that specific belief is untrue. 

Now, write “I used to believe” at the beginning of your negative statement, a big bold “BUT” in between them and “so I know that’s not true” at the end and then read it aloud. 

In this example it will read: “I used to believe I’m not very smart BUT I finished my degree in business management so I know that’s not true.”

This is probably the simplest way for you to understand that your limiting beliefs are irrational and simply not as true as you believe them to be. 

After some time of continuing this exercise, you’ll begin to understand that your limiting beliefs are lying to you and holding you back from fulfilling your true potential. 

 

Tackle Them 

Some people may benefit from diving straight in the deep end and instead of trying to steadily reset the mind and gently remove the limiting beliefs, they want to face them head on. 

In a way, this is a faster way to prove your limiting beliefs wrong. If you wrote them out in the previous point and you can’t find an example of a time where you’ve proved your belief wrong, then take some action to do it now and take the plunge.

Start with a small one that you can tackle almost instantly such as, “I’ll never be a morning person who can be productive in the mornings,” and wake up early the next day and get to it! Straight away you’ve proved that belief wrong and know you can do it – at least every once in a while!

Gradually, you’ll be able to work on those tougher ones because you’ve shown yourself that it is possible to rid yourself of your limiting beliefs.

 

Replace Them

The other way you can try is to again try this writing exercise:

Write your negative limiting beliefs on the left side and write the complete opposite on the right. 

On the left, you may write, “I’ll never get promoted.” 

So on the right, you’re going to put, “I will get promoted!” and start believing it, repeat it and take action to achieve it. 

Eventually, you’ll let your limiting beliefs go and believe your positive thoughts instead. 

Whenever you realise you’re not moving forward because your limiting beliefs pop up, actively shut them out and replace them with your corresponding positive statement. Make them your mantras and repeat them back to yourself until you’ve turned your limiting beliefs around.

 

Reset Your Mindset

I’m not asking you to find your reboot switch because I don’t think you’re a robot. 

Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, you have an opportunity to figure out why and where they’ve come from. 

Whether it is through experience, education or fear of failing, know that there is always professional help out there. 

Sometimes those deeply rooted beliefs are hard to let go of and writing exercises don’t work for everyone. 

Where our beliefs have come from trauma or crisis, it can be hard to access and overcome so there are many different ways that a healthcare professional can help you to work through this to relieve you of the negativity and limiting beliefs that are a product of this.