How many times have we made new year resolutions and not been able to keep them up? I don’t think I’ve ever been able to. I find a lot of the time I get half way through the year and think ‘oh my, where has time gone?’ and I start to panic, thinking that I’ve accomplished nothing and need to make the most of the rest of the year.
I don’t like to mention it much on my website, but the pandemic definitely halted a lot of people’s lives. If someone asked me a couple of years ago where I’d want to be a year after graduating from university, I would say I would want to be financially stable, living in my own place with my boyfriend, have my foot in the door working in a company that I admire and have some idea of what I want to do with my life.
However, the pandemic put my life on pause. Although I completed university last year, I didn’t receive my official graduation ceremony until a whole year later. I’m still working in hospitality, like I have done since I was 17, and I’m just about scraping by while living with my boyfriend in his family home.
Don’t get me wrong, I can’t complain. I’m grateful I have a roof over my head, a job that’s relatively stable and I’m surrounded by loving people. However, sometimes I can’t help but think about how I haven’t really progressed much in the past year.
So, determined not to let things get me down, I wanted to write a post on having a mid-year refresh. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do to ground myself and remind myself how far I’ve already come.
Imagine you’re on a hike by yourself. The sun is shining and you’re surrounded by the beautiful countryside. You’re gradually taking steps forward, on the way to the finish line. You’re not looking back; you’re focusing on what’s in front of you and where you want to go.
Half way through, you might stop and take a look at your map to see where you are, how far you’ve come and where you need to go to get to the end.
You might have that moment where you think ‘oh, great, I’m further along the track than I thought!’ and that’s what I want you to achieve by doing this mid-year refresh.
What lessons have I learned so far?
Where have you stumbled and picked yourself up this year? How have you learned to overcome it? What lessons has the universe thrown your way that has changed your perspective?
Reflect on all of those things that have made you slightly wobble off track, acknowledge them and find the lesson behind the experience. Some things may not feel good to look back on but the worst situations are usually where we are taught the most. Remember that and take those lessons with you.
What am I proud of?
Equally, I want you to reflect on the good things that have happened!
Think about some of your best achievements. Did you manage to finally run 5k without stopping? Or baked a cake without letting it burn? That’s pretty impressive stuff, in my eyes.
I love praising myself for all the little things I achieve on my way to my bigger goals. So try to think of the small things as well, don’t ignore them.
How much have you achieved already this year? If it’s not as much as you’d like, give yourself a little nudge forward to do more, starting now. If it’s more than you thought, applaud your accomplishments, but don’t let yourself dwindle.
What’s brought happiness to my life?
A lot of the time, we ignore a lot of the greatness in our lives and take them for granted. You probably have a lot more good things around you than you realise. Start with reflecting on the big things, like having a roof over your head, money in your pockets and amazing people in your life, then work your way down. You’ll start to find endless parts of you that bring you joy.
Have you found renewed happiness in something, like your relationship or an old song? Think about how great that felt and try to keep the good things coming.
Have you bought something, started a new hobby or found a new friend? Well, aren’t you lucky. It’s always great to find happiness in the new things in life too. It means you’re allowing the universe to hand you the happiness it wants to give you. Keep hold of them and hold them tight.
How have I dealt with changes or misfortunes?
As much as we may not want them, changes are inevitable. And so are misfortunes. Unfortunately, we can’t stop them and instead have to embrace and overcome them.
What obstacles have you managed to overcome or deal with? Did you cope well in a situation that would have usually thrown you off? Or held it together when you felt like you couldn’t?
Remember that with everything the world has thrown at you, you’re still here and reading this post. Think how amazing that is!
Without changes and misfortunes, we can’t grow as people and I can’t think of anything sadder than not wanting to improve ourselves.
What do I want to let go of or leave behind?
My favourite saying appears here, once again.
“If it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it”
There have probably been a few moments in the first part of the year that you want to forget about and move on from. Take some time right now to think about how you can do that and how you can leave it behind.
If it’s an unhealthy habit or something you need to change, plan how you can overcome it so that you can applaud yourself at the end of the year.
What do I want to hold onto?
So now think about what does bring you joy. Evaluate your good habits and things you like around you. What do you want to cling onto? What do you think is going to carry on bringing you happiness going forwards?
Do you think you’re going to learn from that person, or is that new amazing skincare routine something you want to continue?
It’s all about what’s going to bring you peace, purpose and positivity to help you grow into the person you want to become.
What do I want to open myself up to?
Now think about some things that you want to experience. What do you want to open yourself up to but haven’t done yet? Is it going on a meditation retreat or a solo vacation? Do you want to start roller skating or open your own business?
Whatever it is, make a plan to do it in the next few months and work your way towards it. Think about what’s been holding you back and how you can tackle it so that you can finally do whatever it is.
Make it a goal to start or complete it in the near future.
What parts of my life do I need to work on?
Some of us have specific parts of our lives we like to work on. I like to focus on my mental health and personal improvement, but I often neglect my relationships with people, especially my family.
I try to make it a high priority to have a long catch up with my mum at least once a week and to schedule my trips home in advance so my family can start counting down.
You’ve got to identify the parts in your life that you’re neglecting so that you can work on them. Is it your mental health? Your job or career? Your kids? Your physical health? Are there certain parts of these that aren’t aligning with the goals you set for yourself?
And then ask yourself what you can do. What little steps can you take to start improving this aspect of your life so that you feel like the whole package.
What else do I want to accomplish?
Everyone’s goals in life are different. We can’t compare our lives to others because their successes are different from our own. I don’t want you to be thinking about goals like ‘I want to be as fit as that woman I see jogging down my road everyday’.
I want you to set yourself specific goals like ‘run 5k without stopping by the end of the year’. That’s your individual goal, and something you can definitely accomplish.
Take a minute to think about some of the other accomplishments you want to achieve by your next refresh. Maybe it could simply be that you want to check in on yourself like this every few months.
Checking in like this for a refresh can be hugely beneficial for your personal growth. It can also be terrifying. But without putting your goals and achievements in front of you to analyse, praise and motivate you, it can be hard to see where you’re headed and you can lose track of where you are.
I want to try to do my own refresh quarterly, because I’d like to see the changes that have occurred much more recently. So feel free to have your refresh whenever you feel you need it. And I’m always here if you need a little guidance.
